Ask The Astrosexologist: How Do I End My Relationship With My Manipulative Ex-Husband?
“I (7/13/63) have been separated from my husband (11/30/69) since 2007. We have one child together. My husband does not want a divorce, but I do; yet I can’t seem to actually file the papers. I still care about him, but I can’t live with him, and I am not in love with him anymore. Every time I get up the nerve to end this marriage, he threatens to kill himself, or he acts so pathetic that I get suckered back into taking care of him. He has had ‘friendship’ relationships with his exes and lots of women on social networking sites for most of our relationship and still does. He also engages in reckless behavior. I can’t get past this and have always seen it as a dealbreaker, while he sees nothing wrong with it at all. Will I ever be able to finally put all this behind me and move on, or will I be hopelessly mired in this depressing, draining relationship? Please help!” – C
As much as you care about him, coddling his behavior and letting him manipulate you is doing no one any favors. Of course, due to your Sun, Mercury and Venus all in Cancer, you can’t help but feel sympathetic and compassionate towards him. Plus, he is the father of your child — but what kind of example are you setting, by sacrificing your own happiness for a man you don’t love and isn’t even treating you well?
What you need to do is get in touch with your Aries moon and get selfish! Time to live by your rules and for your own happiness, as you’re no good to anyone, especially your kid, if you allow yourself to be a victim to his neediness and manipulating tactics. Don’t let his crying wolf be your excuse to stay; because chances are since he is a double fire sign, he is using drama to control you. Of course, if he seriously is someone that might go to that extreme, then what he truly needs is professional help — not you being his mom, because you aren’t and shouldn’t have to be.
So instead of worrying about him, worry about you! To get on the fast track to your future, one in which you are happy, do not hesitate to make some real decisions — ones with you in mind. Lo-and-behold, you have some amazing lucky dates for you to take advantage of — Dec. 31 and Jan. 15, to be exacy. Dec. 31 is a full moon eclipse in Cancer, which for you means a good time to end something that is part of your identity that no longer works for you. Jan. 15 is a solar eclipse in Capricorn, which is in your house of committed partnerships, which is a good time to start anew in how you approach relationships. These eclipses only happen in your sign approximately every nine years, and they are meant to help you understand and change the patterns in your life for the better, so that means there truly are no excuses for you now, as even the universe is asking you to set yourself free!
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email [email protected] and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!
Want to know what’s in store for your sign in 2010? Don’t forget to check out The Frisky’s Astro Guide 2010!