How Snooki Could Rule The Snookiverse

Major injustice alert! Snooki has been fired from her job. Not because of all the drinking and clothing removal that’s gone down on “Jersey Shore.” But her newfound celebrity requires travel, and when Snooki requested time off to make a press appearance, she got sacked. “I was a receptionist at a corporation,” she said. “I was getting good money, like $13 an hour. I got fired when I asked for time off to go to L.A.” [E! Online]

Don’t worry, Snooki. We think you can make money by just being you. Seriously, someone has already suggested the Snooki Snuggie, and that thing could make millions. Here are some things we think our favorite guidette should consider to make money and build her brand.

  • With those freaking hot moves, Snooki, you could make a killing teaching dance lessons. Heck, start your own freaking dirty dancing school.
  • If that doesn’t work, you are a shoo-in for a spot on “Dancing with the Stars.”
  • Lindsay Lohan is making money off her line of tanning sprays, and homegirl doesn’t have half the bronze glow you have. Copy this idea, stat.
  • Design a line of leopard print dresses and accessories for … someone.
  • And why not a perfume? The top note could be the smell of tequila oozing from your skin the morning after.
  • Oh wait, I’ve got a really good idea. What about a Brad Ferro-themed line of punching bags?
  • Or perhaps she opens the Snooki School Of Self Defense?
  • Snooki seriously needs her own exercise video, a la Heidi Montag. For “Guidettes Who Like To Take Care Of Themselves.”
  • Speaking of, Snooki should find herself a reality TV guy to attach herself to. Their fame will skyrocket instantly. May I suggest Jon Gosselin? Even though he’s not Italian.
  • Oh, and she must have a pop single in her somewhere.
  • “Celebrity Rehab” sounds like an obvious choice. They surely pay participants? Maybe.