For The Week Of December 21-27, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll be on top of the world, as true love and mutual feelings light up your life. However, don’t turn this into fuel to burn others, as bragging isn’t going to do you any favors. This feeling of bliss should be making you rise above rather than pouring salt over frenemies’ wounds. If you do find yourself using your emotions as a weapon, it’s time to reconsider your motives.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll find solace in someone you least expect, as you and your honey won’t be seeing eye-to-eye on much and creating havoc everywhere you go. Just as you’ll feel as if you are totally alone, compassion will arrive, giving you the insight you need to see past the agony and help make all things right for there to be a happy Christmas for all.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

It’s not what that someone says that will matter now. It’ll be his actions that will give you all the information you need to know. Yes, as it goes, the pressure of the holidays makes people dumb and words sometimes can escape. But oh well, not all that you desire can come to you on a silver platter, so be thankful for the little things — they’ll be far more powerful than talk.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Travel plans hit snags, making you think your happy holidays will get obliterated, but surprise, surprise, your honey finds a way to save the day, reinforcing why you love him so. However, if you’re single, snafus will wind up playing fate into your hands in the most bizarre ways, landing you in a place where things heat up fast and redefining “chestnuts roasting over an open fire.”

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Don’t blame the holidays for the insanity you’ll feel, because the universe will be hitting the stall button right as you’re on the precipice of a major enlightening event. Expect plans to hits snags, dirty secrets to pop out and gossip to run amok. Sure, the holidays are always messy, but you will take the prize for the most tales to tell. At the least, marvelous presents should compensate.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Your honey is going to be turning into a major passive-aggressive freak in T-minus zero minutes and there’s nothing you can do about it. Insanity will spew from his mouth; deciphering any remnants of logic will be impossible. While this might be temporary, it doesn’t mean you have to coddle this behavior. Instead, make sure all your drinks this season are doubles and bottoms up!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Not all friendships are the same caliber. The ones that are true gold will be more than apparent, as the one that’s total crap will practically drive you to murder. This “friend” will start mouthing off in the wrong way, trying to interfere with your bliss and turn this season inside out. Luckily, you’ll have the decorum to acknowledge this person’s behavior discreetly and to dispose of her/him immediately.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be hot and cold when it comes to love. On one hand, there’ll be many things that will make you grateful for your boo, but then on the other, you’ll see how short he falls in many other categories. Solution: make the most of the social invites. Not everything can be perfect all the time, but with beer goggles you’ll at least numb yourself from turning into a total psycho.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Who cares what delusions you’ll have to convince yourself of, because, as you know, the drill of the holidays is that family is always a bit over the top and that your love life is what it is — the more low key you can make it, the better you will be for it. ‘Tis the season for you to turn the other cheek and let bygones by bygones; if you can do this, next week will be all yours.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If you’ve said all that you want to say, then you will be doing OK. However, what other people admit to you may make your eyeballs pop out of your head and have you doing a double take on their character. Thankfully, their actions should be more comical than conniving. However, if you are withholding secrets, expect the guilt to finally eat you alive this week and for guts to spill.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You can’t fight the system now, so you might as well just fall in line and take what you can, as this isn’t the time to make a fuss with anyone — least of all your honey. Best to lay low and keep that sense of humor intact, because if you think too deeply on anything, you’ll be asking for a big ole heaping spoonful of depression and confusion. Accept love is stupid and keep on keeping on.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your motivation will be dropping at fast levels and you will have not much interest in other people’s festivities. However, going through the motions won’t kill you. If you can manage to do the least, you will come out alive and can give yourself a big ole pat on the back for being so selfless, because as it goes, this week won’t feel as if it has anything to do with you.

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