Tiger Beat: Who Should Elin Nordegren Date Next?

The word on the street, or more accurately on the Daily Beast, is that Tiger Woods is putting up serious dough to get his wife Elin Nordegren to stay with him. The prenup that she signed in 2004 stated that she would get $20 million after 10 years of marriage. But, according to a source, a lawyer involved in the negotiations, Tiger has upped that to $75 million if she stays with him for seven years. And he also has allegedly offered her $5 million up front. These are huge amounts of money, and it’s really hard to imagine someone saying, “Yeah, I don’t want $75 million,” especially since this couple has two children together and, until recently, seemed happy together. But if Elin did walk out the door, I would have to give her props for sticking up for herself, à la Jenny Sanford. And then, she’d be free to play the field herself. Here’s who we think she should look into dating next. Being cheated on in a very public way, with multiple women, is embarrassing. It shouldn’t be, as it’s no reflection on the woman, but it is. So the way I see it, Elin needs to be strategic and pick people who are equal to or better than Tiger. Like …

  • Brad Pitt. According to all these rumors about him and Angelina fighting constantly, he may be available soon. Plus, we already know he’s a good father.
  • George Clooney. He’s currently dating Elisabetta Canalis, but he changes women the way most guys change shirts, so I think he could easily be wooed away. Perhaps Elin could be the one to finally get him to settle down, and earn instant envy points from the entire female race?
  • Phil Mickelson. This would be going the straight-up revenge route. Another legendary golfer, Phil happens to be the second highest paid athlete in the world, right after Tiger.
  • Jason Segal. Just because we love him and it would be a fun, wacky pairing.
  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Ditto.
  • David Gandy. You know him as the obscenely hot dude in tighty whities in Dolce & Gabbana ads. After slightly humiliating endeavors in romanceland, both Madonna and Halle Berry got their cred back by going for young, mega-hot models. I’d suggest David because he’s one of the most successful in the world. Plus, he’s British, so … hot accent!
  • Matthew McConaughey. Occurred to me because we thought Elin was the one who played his future wife in “The Wedding Planner.” But, nope, that was Pete Sampras’ wife. Oops.
  • Aleksander Skarsgard. Aka Eric from “True Blood.” They’re both hot and Swedish.
  • Peter Orsanz. Another way Elin could go—by picking a hot, powerful politico, like Pete, director of Obama’s Office of Management and Budget. Reggie Love, Obama’s right-hand man, could also work.
  • Jon Gosselin. This would be way slumming it for Elin. But she would guarantee herself at least thee months’ worth of tabloid covers.