10 (More) Male Literary Characters We’d Like To Bone

If you want to escape your real love life, why not get lost in the pages of a great book … with a sexy leading man? I mean who hasn’t wished that they were coming home to Mr. Darcy after a long, stressful day? Asylum compiled a list of their 15 most sex-worthy ladies of literature after reading Lemondrop’s top 15 most do-able literary men. But I think they forgot a few characters with whom you might really want to curl up in bed. After the jump, 10 more fictional characters we really, really wish were real. So we could bone them. Sometimes it pays to be an avid reader.

  1. If you want a dude who will recite poetry outside of your window, even though your parents want him dead, renounce his bloodline to marry you, and look hot in tights while doing it— meet Romeo of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. The original lovah.
  2. Smart. Individualistic. Strong. Sexy. Unwavering. Ambitious. Visionary. Idealistic. Architect Howard Roark from The Fountainhead is a controversial rebel with a cause (aka Ayn Rand’s attempt at ideal man). I personally think she succeeded.
  3. It would never be a dull night on the town with Alexander Dumas’ rendering of The Count of Monte Cristo. This cunning, mysterious, rich master of disguises will always keep you guessing.
  4. Professor Friedrich Bhaer from Little Women is the marrying kind. Who cares if he’s a poor, German immigrant teacher? He’s kind, intelligent, earnest, cultured, and supportive. He’ll make you swoon every time.
  5. If you’re into that New York actor-philosophical type then you probably will have it bad for Zooey Glass from J.D. Salinger’s Franny and Zooey. He may be a touch neurotic, but I’m sure you can forgive him. He’s in the midst of an existential crisis.
  6. Who would not want to be rescued from a life of unhappiness with that dufus Prince Humperdink by Westley from William Goldman’s The Princess Bride? Not a single woman in the kingdom.
  7. If you need a muse to inspire you out of a rut, I think Dorian Gray may be the hedonistic revelation of a man you are longing for. Let him rouse you in Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray.
  8. Not enough men come over to meet the entire family on your first date. That’s why Jim O’Connor from Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie is kind of the best gentleman caller of all time.
  9. Rob Fleming from Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity may have commitment issues, but his killer record collection makes up for it. That … and he’ll totally realize you’re the lady of his dreams in the end. Sexy!
  10. Underneath the wise-cracking, drinking, and private-eye exterior, Philip Marlowe, from the Raymond Chandler series, is a thoughtful and gentle soul. He is a brave pacifist looking for the right woman to soothe the lonely beast inside. Grrrr.
Tags: books, literature