Even if you don’t give two figs about the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie triangulated love mess, we’re sure you’ll find a recent excerpt of the forthcoming book Brangelina dishy. Brad is a pothead! Jen had two miscarriages! Angelina has a horrible temper! And that’s not all …
Dirt-digger Ian Halperin spoke with 900 sources about Hollywood’s most famous love triangle, including one “source” who gave the couple 18 months until Splitsville. But since none of these sources were named “Brad,” “Jen” or “Angelina,” we’re skeptical of any and all rumors. Nevertheless, the juiciest tidbits from Brangelina, as told to the New York Post:
- A limo driver for the pair said Angie “has a temper like a cobra.” This does not surprise us—there’s something about the way she purses her lips and squints her eyes that just looks like she’s wallowing in a pit of deep-seated rage. But what does surprise us is the dishy limo driver’s next comment: “I can’t imagine how anyone would want to be with her every day, no matter how sexy she is.” Um, I think millions of American men would disagree with you, fella.
- The stars—they’re just like us, arguments and all. A woman who worked with Brad on the movie “Troy” said he and Angelina have screaming matches all the time, but they occur in private. “Nobody really witnesses that part of it—they just see him leaving in a huff,” this woman said. “But then he ends up coming back again, and nobody knows what happened to bring him back.” Sex?
- Brad’s family preferred Jen over Angelina. “I talked to several people in Brad’s family who wished they’d break up today,” Halperin told the Post. But it’s not for the reason you think! “They’re scared for Brad’s safety and his well-being,” he continued. Hmm, could Angelina’s temper really be that bad?
- Brad Pitt kind of sucks in the fidelity department: Brad has allegedly cheated on Angelina with a Sudanese model, Amma, whom he met at a benefit for Darfur at the Cannes Film Festival in 2007, and Angelina is supposedly suspicious he’s cheated on her more than once. If this is true, Angelina should have known was she was in for.
- Brad and Jen were stoners! A “well-known Hollywood journalist” told Halperin that Brad and Jen “spent much of their married life stoned. But whereas he was chilled out, she could get pretty paranoid.” For some reason, we don’t have a hard time imagining her like this.
- Angelina, surprisingly, isn’t into the reefer madness. Angelina is allegedly pissed Brad drinks and smokes pot because it sets a bad example for their kids. Well, she has a point.
- Jen allegedly had two miscarriages with Brad: Sources say Jen was pregnant twice while with Brad—once during 2003 and once during 2004—and the couple had a nursery built in their Beverly Hills mansion. Sad. If this is true, it kind of makes Pitt look like a douche for leaving her, doesn’t it?
- Brad and Angelina have a ton of nannies and don’t parent their own kids much: Sources say the couple hired a small squadron of nannies who do the majority of parenting while they film movies and travel the world. Three-year-old Shiloh Jolie-Pitt even called one of the nannies “Mommy” once, according to an employee at London’s Dorchester hotel.
- Their breakup has already been planned: The same source who told Halperin that Brad and Angie will split up within the next 18 months already has a theory on how it’ll all go down. “They’re going to split amicably, work out some kind of arrangement with the kids, and everything will be very civilized,” the source said. “Then you’re going to see unidentified friends leak stories how Angelina couldn’t put up with Brad’s partying and drinking and his pot smoking.” And that’s because …
- … Angelina is allegedly a vicious rumor spreader: All the bad press against Angelina (which, by the way, was much harsher on Angie the stealer and not Brad the strayer) when Brad left Jen for her got her rattled, so Angie allegedly spread the rumor that Brad left his wife because she didn’t want to have kids. According to a source connected with 20th Century Fox, which produced “Mr. And Mrs. Smith,” the film during which Brad and Angelina fell in love, “It was Angelina who came up with the whole story about Jennifer not wanting to have kids,” a source said. “She was convinced that is the story that would resonate with all these women who saw her as a man-stealing bitch.” Apparently, Brad finally stepped in and told Angelina to stop. Still, that’s just evil.
Of course, all of this could be total BS! All these “sources” are just “sources” and we’ll never know until the divorce proceedings are filed. Or the slander lawsuit. [New York Post]