Tiger Woods In A Car Crash And (Maybe) The Doghouse

What was Tiger Woods—married man, father of two—doing behind the wheel of his SUV at 2:25 a.m. on Friday night? Police are unclear what the billionaire pro-golfer was up to before he crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree in his Florida gated community, but they classified the incident as a mere traffic accident. Could it be that 33-year-old Woods had a late-night case of the munchies? Nay, TMZ is spreading the rumor that his wife, 28-year-old Swedish model Elin Nordegren confronted her husband about an alleged affair, scratched his face, and then as he fled his house, came after his SUV with a golf club. It sounds just crazy enough to be true! [TMZ]According to the Associated Press, police responded to an 911 call around 2:25 a.m. and arrived Woods’ $2.4 million mansion, in the Orlando suburb of Isleworth, to find the golfer fading in and out of consciousness. Woods apparently had cuts to his lips and blood in his mouth, and his wife stood over him, distressed. Although the couple didn’t give a reason for why Woods crashed in the first place, Nordegren reportedly told police she used a golf club to smash the rear window of the vehicle open so she could open the car door and pull Woods from the car.

Uh huh. Right.

TMZ is skeptical, too, and they’re telling a very different story. The gossip site says “a non-law enforcement” source told them Nordegren confronted her husband about an alleged affair with Rachel Uchitel, a hostess at a New York night club, and scratched up his face. Allegedly, Woods hopped into his SUV to drive off and his wife followed behind him, swinging a golf club at the car. Woods, who allegedly also told TMZ’s source he’s taking prescription pain medication, apparently became disoriented by the window-smashing and hit the fire hydrant and the tree.

Just why might Mrs. Woods have flown off the handle? Two days before Woods’ crash, The National Enquirer printed a story that Uchitel followed the golfer down to Melbourne while he competed in the Australian Masters. For what it’s worth, Uchitel has denied the affair, telling the AP, “I resent my reputation is getting completely blasted in the media. Everyone is assuming I came out and said this. This is not a story I have anything to do with.” (Actually, that sounds more like a non-denial denial, doesn’t it?)

TMZ also speculates Woods won’t speak to the police or media because he’s waiting for the lacerations on his face to heal, allegedly to downplay the domestic violence, and that he doesn’t want to get in trouble for driving under the influence of prescription drugs, which can make a person woozy.

Of course, it’s also possible Nordegren and Woods could just be avoiding police/media because they’re a notoriously private couple.

Sigh. We may never know what went down that night, though, because a police spokeswoman said Woods isn’t required to speak to the Florida Highway Patrol over a mere traffic accident. We are hoping, though, that if Nordegren did indeed scratch up her husband’s face and smash the windows of his car, she gets the same handcuffs snapped around her wrist that any other perpetrator in a domestic abuse incident would receive. It’s only fair, right? [AP, TMZ, TMZ, BBC]