‘Tweens Behaving Badly

Even if ‘tweens totally terrify you, you must show them some love for what they consistently do well—they bring the mother-effing ruckus. No matter what year, no matter what conditions, no matter what cute boy is involved, ‘tweens are kind of like cockroaches. Nothing on earth can keep them from causing a hysterical scene over the objects of their young affections. This past Friday, 3,000 ‘tweens rioted at a mall in New Jersey on Long Island. Arrests were made and a few were sent to the hospital after lots o’ screaming girls went apes**t—pushing and shoving just a bit too much, possessed with unbridled passion. Who were they getting all hot and bothered about? Teen singing sensation Justin Bieber. Is it bad that I don’t know who he is? Poor Justin had to turn around and leave after security deemed it unsafe for him to enter the building. Check out this video filmed by a ‘tween on the scene. Wait, is that Justin Bieber in the background, butchering “Love Fool,” originally by The Cardigans? Oh my … ‘tweenagers sure are interesting mini-people. After the jump, some more tweentastic moments.

  • Are we really surprised that ‘tweens are going bonkers for Robert Pattison? No. ‘Tween chaos broke out while R-Patz was shooting “Remember Me.” Producers had to construct a seven-foot-high box around the actor and hire a full-time security crew just to keep the screaming ‘tweens out. I think that may be scarier than getting bitten by a vampire. [The Hollywood Gossip]
  • ‘Tweens in Peru are just as obsessed with the Jonas Brothers as they are here. The riot police had to be called out in full force this past May when 1,000 pyscho Peruvian ‘tweens bombarded the Marriott Hotel to welcome the brothers to South America. A little over the top, no? [E! Online]
  • Who can bring traffic in Tokyo to a standstill? Zac Efron can. And he did. There were so many ‘tweens waiting to catch a glimpse of Efron after the “High School Musical” premiere that one was crushed. Yowser. [Metro Lyrics]
  • Going back in time, for parents of ‘tweens who were once ‘tweens themselves, David Cassidy was the boy to riot over in the 1970s. On his 1974 tour of Britain, a crowd of overzealous ‘tweens got out of control resulting in over 1,000 needing medical attention and six girls being taken to hospital. One 14-year old girl died four days later from being crushed to death. No wonder he quite the biz and developed a drug habit. [Nostalgia Central]
  • Beatlemania really paved the way for ‘tweens behaving badly. It began in 1963 and reached a fever pitch in 1966, when it became too dangerous for The Bealtles to play live. During their 23 city tour in America, one ‘tween allegedly got a hold of The Beatles’ pillowcases, cut them into 160,000 tiny squares, mounted them, and sold them for $1 each. I’m betting $160,000 that she is now in an institution. [Google]