Evangelical Dieting Is Sweeping The Nation

If you think colon cleanses, air diets, and cookie diets are bizarro fads, you haven’t heard anything yet. There’s a new dieting trend based on … well … Jesus. That’s right. If you want to be thin, you should pray your way there on a faith diet. While there have been faith diets around since the ’80s, there seems to be a sudden increase in converts. The idea is to take the principles of Christianity and apply them to eating. Faith-based diet gurus (my favorite is bleach-blond, Christian fundamentalist Gwen Shamblin, who founded The Weigh Down Diet) believe that we overeat to fill a void within ourselves. If we can fill that hole with faith, instead of food, we can actually lose weight and keep it off. As in add some extra oomph to your pre-meal grace, “Please Lord let me not eat too much pecan pie this Thanksgiving,” and then put your faith in Jesus to take care of the rest. Also, The Weigh Down Diet is perfect for anyone in denial about what they eat. Gwen believes that Jesus made food for us to enjoy in moderation. So eat your McDonald’s and pray that you won’t Super Size it. Wait, McDonald’s didn’t even exist in Jesus’ time. If so, he might have been able to recruit some more disciples. Point being, this seems like the perfect diet for Sarah Palin to follow to keep the pounds off while she’s on her book tour. [Daily Mail]