I Learned How To Dance From The Interwebs

Confession: my secret dream has always been to be a dancer. Harsh reality: I am a hot, awkward mess on the dance floor. Back in the day, I used to be the wallflower at the party watching other people get down … until one fateful night when, with the help of a little liquid courage, I got the nerve to cut loose and try some moves I had seen online. And I discovered a new way to tear it up—to rock the worst dance moves possible. Yes, I became the best-worst dancer at every party and received all the negative-positive attention so rightly owed to me. Who do I have to thank for the revelation? Soulja Boy, who taught me how to crank the “Superman.” Bonus points if you know what it means to “Superman that ho.” Thank you for your fine lyrics and hot moves, Soulja! But a dancer has to keep her moves fresh. That’s why I’m always cruisin’ the web for the newest dance craze that will help me keep my skillz sharp and ready for any dance-off in da club. After the jump, my fave internet dance crazes.

For those of you who don’t want to get too jiggy on the dance floor, try the “Christian Side Hug.” Giving a side hug is a sure way to avoid any suggestive grinding that Jesus would not approve of. [BuzzFeed]

You know nothing about dance if you don’t know “Global Dancing: Learn This Routine.” Sarah Febbaro wants everyone in the world to learn this dance. We can do it!!

The New Boyz have invented a hot new dance move called “Jerkin.” It looks suspiciously like “skanking”—an old ska move. But who cares as long as you’re wowing the crowd?

“Daggering” is all the craze in Jamaica. But be careful, guys … if not done correctly it could lead to a broken penis. Arrrrrgggghhhhh!

Hurricane Chris started an internet storm with his song “She’s Fine,” which is all about how hawt Halle Berry is. The dance sensation came to be known as the “Halle Berry.” And Halle paid homage to her own hawtness by performing her namesake dance on “Ellen.”

If you want to know what’s stylish, follow the French. If you’re smart, you’ll learn the “Tecktonic” tres quickly.