Dispatches From Last Night’s Midnight Screening Of “New Moon”

I have never in my life heard as much squealing as I did during last night’s midnight showing of “New Moon.” While I thought that perhaps some Twihards old enough to legally drink would come out for the first showing, as I arrived at the theater with my posse of eight, circa 9 p.m., we instantly felt a little old joining the line of mostly 18-to-20-year-olds. Almost everyone in front of us wore a Twilight-themed shirt—most of them handmade—with slogans like “Bite Me, Edward” and “Taylor, Can I Feel Your Abs?” Others had dribbled fake blood by their lips or painted red dots on their neck, and one especially enterprising young woman came dressed as one of the Volturi, complete with a cape. At 10 p.m., the theater ushers finally let us all into the theater. And approximately every 15 minutes afterwards, someone would shout, “An hour and a half until ‘New Moon,'” or “Just 20 minutes left,” to thunderous applause and whooping. I won’t lie—there was an in-theater wave. And when the house lights finally went down, I think I heard tears coming from the girl sitting beside me. Soon after, the trailer for “Remember Me” came on, and the whole theater lost it. But, surprisingly, it was Taylor Lautner’s first appearance on screen that got the biggest hoots and hollers of the evening.

But enough of the play-by-play. After the jump, my favorite overheard quotes of the night.

“This is the best night of my whole entire life.” —Girl in a plaid dress who couldn’t have been more than 18

Blonde 1: “I don’t think Jacob is that cute.”
Blonde 2: “Yeah, he looks like a porpoise.”
Brunette friend: “Um, try a wolf.”

“The line for the women’s bathroom is 10 miles long and they are out of toilet paper. We should storm the men’s.” —A ‘Team Edward’ T-shirt wearer

“I don’t like what they did with Robert Pattinson’s makeup. He seems to look a lot like the Joker.” —Girl next to me

“You’d have to be delusional to be on Team Jacob.” —Girl who sees nothing delusional about picking teams in a fictional love triangle

“I need to get those hazel contact lenses.” —The only woman in the theater who appeared to be over 45