Which Songs On John Mayer’s New Album Are About Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston?

John Mayer doesn’t just open up to the paparazzi about private stuff with Jennifer Aniston—he composes ditties about her, too. Case in point: it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that “Heartbreak Warefare,” the first song on Mayer’s new album, Battle Studies is about Aniston being hung up over Brad Pitt:

“Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face, as I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere
It’s heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin, no one ever wins at heartbreak warfare
If you want more love, why don’t you say so?”

Ouch!

Considering Mayer has only banged pop/movie stars for the past several years, a little deductive reasoning tells us at least a couple more songs on the new album are about past relationships with Aniston and Jessica Simpson. So we listened to the whole Battle Studies album and have created, after the jump, a purely speculative compilation of John Mayer’s song lyrics about which starlets he’s ben boning:

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