Adam Lambert Dishes On Oral Sex With A Woman

For those of us who have a gay boyfriend in our lives, we know how to gross them out in five seconds flat. I have a list of words that I know I can say to mine that will make him squirm and run around the room, screaming like a school girl—vagina, p**sy, c**t, clit, moist. My favorite line of questioning with my gay boyfriend is about the one time in college that he had drunken sex with a girl before he was out. Each time I press him for details he says things like, “I don’t really remember,” or “I only put it in there for a second,” or “Ewwwwwwww!” His experience of straight sex is not unlike Adam Lambert’s recent account in Out magazine. When asked about performing oral sex on a woman, he gave this eloquent description of the experience:

“It was a little gross because I don’t think she was as clean as she could’ve been. It wasn’t the act of it that really turned me off. I don’t really remember. I was 18 and I was drunk.”

Oh come on, Glambert! It was the act that turned you off. It wasn’t gross because she wasn’t clean (BTW, that poor girl probably has her head in the oven as I type this); it was gross because you don’t like vagina. It’s OK. You’re gay. I’m not sure what Adam’s trying to play at—trying to make us women feel better that he might kiss us or put his tongue on our vaginas if we’re really clean and he’s really drunk? No thanks. We like him just as he is — an undeniable lover of penis. I hope he’ll stop oversharing about his one awkward experience with a woman and get on with his music. [Celebitchy]