French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld is my mom’s age. So why in God’s name is she going pantsless in lace tights and hooker boots, forcing us to be sick all over the place? I don’t care what people say about age being just a number, 55 is far too high a number for this Lady Gaga-esque behavior. In an effort to come to terms with a former icon’s decline, we’ve constructed a highly scientific chart tracing the progress of pantslessness through the last four decades. It won’t be easy, but taking the journey from ’70s roller girls all the way up to Carine is cathartic somehow.