25 Funnier Ways To Describe Self-Love

Masturbation isn’t a very sexy word. But despite its poor branding and marketing, self-lovin’ gets us all (hopefully) to the big O. So, rather than harp on the weird choice of word, like vagina (not the best work of the English language), why not try one of these ridiculous euphemisms for “dancing with myself”? Hey, they might inspire you to come up with more, uh, nicknames.

  1. Taking the flute to band camp
  2. Stuffing the pink taco
  3. The five knuckle shuffle
  4. Petting My Little Pony
  5. Rub one out
  6. Cleaning out the cobwebs
  7. Yodel In the Canyon
  8. Turn the knob
  9. Tampering with the smoke detector
  10. Buffin’ the muffin
  11. Turning myself into a hand puppet
  12. Basting the turkey
  13. Practicing
  14. Self-service
  15. Flying solo
  16. Feeling slap happy
  17. Watering the flower
  18. Priming the pump
  19. All hands on deck
  20. Cure for boredom
  21. Tickle your fancy
  22. Thumb a ride
  23. Paddling the pink canoe
  24. Preheat the oven
  25. Staying in with BOB (battery operated boyfriend)