Ask The Astrosexologist: My Cancer BF Is Being Wishy-Washy
My birthday is 1/29/89 and his is 7/20/88. We’ve been dating for four months, which I know is only a short while, but I’m falling for him. He has most of the qualities I want in a guy: goal-oriented, attractive, and smart. People have said that if a guy is not looking for anything serious, you won’t have access to his life away from you. I assume he likes me because he always invites me to his house, around his family (which is huge), his friends, and even invited me to his basketball games with his homeboys. Good signs of better things to come? However, he refuses to meet my family and only makes the effort to come to my house when no one is there. He’s a quiet person, but does express things that he never told anyone before. He can be so passionate, wanting to spend time with me, but other times I don’t hear from him for days. Just recently, he expressed to me that he feels as though I “don’t think” about him, because I don’t call him that often. I’m not the bug-a-boo type. I know that being an Aquarius, I have the tendency of being aloof at times, but I don’t think I am wishy-washy like he is. Hopefully, I am clear on what my problem is because, honestly, I am confused as to what to make of his actions. What do you think? Is this something worth holding onto? Am I trippin’? – K-Ball
You’re not trippin; in fact you are hitting a lot of nails on the head. Seems to be Cancer is the sign I get the MOST amount of mail on, with people asking why they’re so hot and cold. No one quite knows how to decipher their clues. Like its icon — the crab — Cancer is never direct. Crabs never walk straight, always sideways, and that is how they communicate. It’s frustrating, wrong and apparently an epidemic — but it doesn’t mean you have to get caught up in the mess too.
Since your relationship is new, you are still in the “feeling out” period with your Cancer, where he needs to get his bearings and see how much he can invest his love in you. While he is giving you access to his life, he is distant about yours — which is not good. Remember, from the moment you meet someone, you are setting the foundation for a relationship. The way he treats you now is how he’ll continue to treat you. So, have you asked him what was up with avoiding your house and being so evasive about meeting your family? If not, ask!
Since you are still new at this with him, you definitely need to get all the facts straight before moving ahead. Other than the insecure comments about you not calling him enough, which could be an indicator of his lack of confidence or a search for an ego-boost, it seems like there is no discussion of what you are feeling and where your relationship is going. As an Aquarius, you also tend to be evasive and like playing detective rather than inquisitor; however, you must prepare to dig deep and not let him off the hook, if you want this to really work. He’s also a Mercury in Scorpio which makes him even more secretive in his communicating, preferring to observe rather than ask, and will draw conclusions from instinct, rather than experience if he can help it.
To get this talk in motion, do it ASAP. Mars, the planet of drive, is in your house of committed partnership and Mercury is in Scorpio, giving you both good aspects to discuss what you want in your relationship, what hang-ups the other has, and really negotiate the ways you want your relationship to work out. If he is not willing to do this, then you have all the answers you need, because despite how bizarre he comes across, Cancers are possessive and when they truly love, they tend to be the more devoted one in the bunch.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!