BuzzFeed today has a link to a list called “Fun Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend,” or, as Peggy Wang from BuzzFeed describes it: “Fun for the kind of couples who like to tie each other up and waterboard torture each other as foreplay.” I’m guessing the original list was intended for young teens or couples who both suffer from brain damage or who never even developed the social skills of a Hummer. “Do not be intimidated about the men’s presence,” the list’s author advises. “You have to ask such questions to know more about your date or your boyfriend. Asking never hurt. Knowing the truth about them helps; so we ask. These questions indirectly can help us knowing every detail we need to know about men.” After the jump, a few of the more choice questions of the list and how I imagine Tom Cruise may have answered if Katie Holmes had asked him any of these when they were “getting to know each other.”14) Would you like me to wear all the time mini skirt or to have a generous neck opening?
I always look for a generous neck opening in a woman. Yours is amazing.
16) When will you declare your eternal love for me?
On Oprah’s couch next week.
18) Do you have the patience to come with me when I’m buying a dress?
I insist on it.
22) What would you do if a bear came up to you and we were together in the forest?
How big is his boyfriend?
27) What kind of horses would you like riding?
Big, muscular male ones with long, wild manes.
33) Would you like to have a bath with me with pink and yellow rose petals?
It’s the only way I bathe.
35) Would you like to make love to me on the carpet, in front of a fireplace?
Can we invite the bear?
37) Can you tell me in a few seconds what is a brick useful for?
To boost my height when we stand next to each other for photos.
42) Do you consider yourself a happy person because you’ve met me?
It’s been amazing.
44) Would you like to imagine that I am a black panther and you are a poor hunter?
Can I be a tall poor hunter?