What Brings You To The Big O?

Let’s get real about something. The female orgasm is a skittish mother f**ker. Most of the women I know say they cannot always come during sexual intercourse, and when they do, it’s only in certain positions, with certain things being stimulated. Some of the women I know can only come from oral sex, while others can never come at the hands of a partner, though they do just fine on their own. And in the interest of full disclosure, in hopes that you’ll share what makes YOU come in the comments, here’s what works for me. I can orgasm during oral sex, but only if I’m really, really comfortable with the person I’m with. One-night-stands and casual partners don’t have a shot, though I’ll still have a good time of it. I’ve only been able to come with one partner during sex and it happened a whopping TWO TIMES in our five-year relationship. How it happened, I dunno. It happened and then it was over and I was so psyched I forgot how to do it again. After the jump, eight women share what gives them the Big O.

“I can come in a snap if a guy fingerbangs my g-spot. Pretty much any penetration works, oral alone isn’t going to do it … I’m weird.”

“I think the vaginal orgasm is a complete and total myth. I have never ever had an orgasm from sex. I’ve faked it with every single person I was ever with. Every time. I only had an orgasm once from oral. Most of the time, I am only guaranteed the big O if there’s machinery involved, or if it’s me and my own dirty thoughts. Much as I hate to say it, the majority of the time, if someone else is on the scene it only serves to distract me from the subject at hand (pun intended). They say that there’s more to sex than orgasm, and I’m living proof. I’ve been at it for thirteen years with nothing to show for it except a long list of dudes who failed to get me off.”

“I was just having this convo with guy friends over the weekend. Half seemed to think women never had orgasms and half seemed to think they always did. How does this dichotomy happen? Are they only with total prudes or fakers? I’d say I have an orgasm in 70% of sexual encounters. This feels so strange to type out at work, but you asked for it. For me, I come very easily from oral sex, manual stimulation, or dry humping. Probably the most effective is a good old fashioned hand job, especially if the guy pays some attention to my nipples at the same time—that takes about a minute and a half flat. During actual sex, it’s much trickier. I can only have an orgasm if we’re in a position where either he or I can give some manual stimulation. Still feels amazing, I just won’t have an orgasm from it.”

“Licking or sucking on my breasts makes me come every time—works like a charm! I can come just from having my breasts in a guy’s mouth; from him rubbing my clitoris while licking me; from him licking me while I use my vibe on myself; or from him licking my breasts with one finger against my clit and the other stretched all the way to rub my anus. Breasts and p**sy at the same time means I have very, very intense orgasms—it’s wonderful! We do this anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour or 45 minutes. If a guy’s not around, my little bean-shaped vibrator against my clitoris always does the trick. It takes anywhere from 3 to 20 minutes to make myself come.”

“Coming is never a problem. I orgasm (usually once, but sometimes multiple times!) nearly every time I masturbate or my guy and I hook up. The only times I don’t come are when I’m tired, like late at night before going to bed, or if I really have to pee! I’ve also been known to orgasm in my sleep if I’m having sexy dreams, which is always fun. All that said … I’m in my mid-20s and I’ve never, ever had an orgasm during sex! Not even close. Nothing’s happened to my G-spot, ever. I’ve only put a dildo-shaped vibrator into my vag once or twice before and really disliked it both times. (So I threw that vibe away and bought my bean-shaped one for my clit.) I enjoy outercourse much, much more than intercourse. Although I’ll admit sex gets better with a loving, responsive, considerate partner. Maybe an orgasm from sex is on my horizon some day?”

“It’s not super easy for me to have an orgasm during sex, but it has happened. Nothing is a sure-thing, but it helps if I’m on top and my clitoris is being stimulated during sex. Also, I think certain times of the month I’m more able to come than others — because of hormones, maybe? Also, I really cannot be cold.”

“Just two weeks ago, I spent a weekend of sexytime bliss with a new guy. We had lots of sex, lots and lots of it, over the course of three days — and it was good. It really was quite good — but I never had an orgasm. This didn’t concern me at all, though. At one point, he asked me what it would take for me to get off, and I explained that sometimes I have an orgasm during sex, sometimes I don’t. There’s really no formula for it where my body is concerned. It’s definitely easier for me to climax when I’m on top and in control, but that doesn’t mean other positions don’t feel good. What I was trying to emphasize to him was that sex feels good to me, orgasm or not. Especially given I get off EVERY SINGLE TIME I masturbate. So, if I need to, I can easily make it happen. With a guy, I just enjoy the physical contact. Rolling around naked feels good, climax or no climax.”

“After being with the same man for 11 years, I can safely say I have an orgasm every time we have sex. We do try to have sex 3-4 times per month and with two toddlers, I think that is not bad. I can make it happen — And I say ‘I’ because I really feel like I am the one who pulls it off. Sure, my husband has the equipment, but if I do not push him in the right direction, he subconsciously (or maybe not), goes off into his own world and can become a selfish lover — every time. Good thing I do not let that happen (the selfish lover part). And he is happy to oblige. I can have the big ‘O’ when I am on bottom or top. Not really from oral, though. I would rather just have sex. Is that bad? Don’t have a lot of time to waste — again, remember the two kids. When I was younger, in my early 20s, I do not think I was as well versed in my own body to have an orgasm every time. I think I relied too much on the man ‘getting me there.’ In my wise-old age of 33, I know what gets me off and I love that I get to experience that every time I have sex. Man, I would hate it I didn’t.”