• Sex

Crying After Sex, Really?

On the most recent webisode of NonSociety’s “TMI Weekly” — that’s the internet TV show from ego blogger/”dating expert” Julia Allison and her posse — things got a little weepy. The gals — Julia, Mary, and Meghan — were discussing crying during/after sex and how doing so is “all good, but never fun to deal with.” Julia, who says she’s cried after sex with every guy she’s been in love with at least once, thinks shedding post-coital tears is a good thing because it “signifies an intensity of emotion that you just don’t normally experience” and usually occurs during “the best sex ever.” Meghan disagrees, saying that it could actually signify that the sex was really, really bad. Mary says she’s only cried once during a hookup and that was when a guy she was dating went down on her and finally made her come. I’ll spare you the torture of posting the full episode here, but I cannot resist the topic itself. Crying after sex, really? That’s normal? I am a big ol’ crybaby. I cry during that Cheerios commercial with the baby and the Grandpa. I went through an entire box of Kleenex during “Marley & Me.” I cry when I’m frustrated, sad, angry, and OCCASIONALLY, I will cry tears of joy. I have never, however, cried during or after sex. And I cannot see myself ever doing so. Yeah, I know women, like, pulsate with oxytocin after doing the horizontal mambo — that’s why we sometimes mistakenly think we’re falling in love with that total douche who happened to give us a good rogering. But I’ve never had the slightest inkling of a tear spring into my eye, even after the best and worst sex of my life. I never cried during or after sex with the men I’ve loved. And if one of them had done that to me — well, even though I find plenty of odd things to be sweet (an ex used to talk to me while I was sleeping and I thought that was adorbs), a crying orgasmic man would turn me the eff off. Likewise, if one of my girlfriends told me they had cried after sex, I would advise them to get that s**t under control — sure, you may have a great reason for wanting to shed a tear, but you don’t do it! That box of tissues by the bed is not for tears. Crying after sex is like crying in front of your boss. There are plenty of excuses, but none of them makes the situation any less embarrassing.

So even though I have totally shamed the practice of a post-coital cry, fess up — have you ever cried after or during sex? How did your partner handle it? How did you? And what in the hell were you thinking?

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