Doin’ It With Dr. V: How To Stop Hating Giving BJs

Oral sex, we all love to receive it. But some peeps have a harder time giving:

I have what I feel is an embarrassing situation. I am in a long term, steady relationship with my boyfriend, and, in general, things are great. There is only one little problem in our sex life … he goes down on me, he loves it, I love it, and life is great, but I cannot seem to do the same for him. I am so embarrassed and I don’t know what to do! I gag or feel nauseous every time I try. He says it’s not a big deal, but I know it’s something he wants and something I want to be able to give him. Is there any way for me to get over what seems like a weird, childish type of response? If not, will he hold it against me, or do you think he means it when he says it’s not a big deal?

Trust me, sex can be kind of embarrassing, no matter what’s going on between the sheets. But I have to wonder, what are you afraid of? It’s just a penis. You think your mouth is perfectly clean? It’s definitely as dirty as your mind. So, girl, I know you can be as good to him as he’s been to you. Treat others how you’d like to be treated, right? Would you want to go your whole life without someone going down on you ever again?

It would be one thing if he didn’t like BJs— and yes, I’ve met one guy who thought they were the waterboarding of sexy times, so they’re out there. I suppose you could wait to find one of these rare dudes, but you might not have a thing in common with him besides that. Or you can keep on loving the man who’s been loving you right, since he’s not asking for anything crazy.

Clearly, it’s time to suck it up, literally. And I have some ideas to get you in tip-top shape.

  1. Dental Dam: Keep a layer of latex between you and him. It’s a lil’ harder this way, but it could be a baby step if you’re a germaphobe.
  2. Mr. Clean: Have him get fresh in the shower or bath.
  3. Get On Top: Lie him down on his back. This way you can go down on him at your own pace. Since he won’t be standing over you, you’ll be at a vantage point to easily see him enjoying it, and you’ll be totally in control.
  4. Flava: Add some deliciousness to the BJ with a tasty lube. But be careful: some foods don’t mix well with sex.
  5. 69: Sure, you’ll have to split your attention if you’re both working at the same time, but at least there will be an incentive to keep on going.
  6. Tease: Seems like you’re going to want to minimize the amount of time your mouth is making contact with his, uh, member, so be sure and tease the heck outta him. Striptease, grind, get handy, and go to town before you go down. He’ll pop faster than a safety seal.
  7. Technique: Here are some extra tips for blowing his mind with your mad skills.

TIP: While surprising him with a little oral action would be awesome, you might want to ask him to warn you when he’s going to blow, so you can opt out of swallowing.

Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor; I just play one on the internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too!