I know you’re swamped with Halloween preparations and haven’t even bothered to look at this week’s movies, but what are you gonna do on Sunday afternoon when you wake up hung over with a man dressed like the pope next to you and you’re wearing someone else’s wig? You’ve gotta escape somewhere, and where better than a dark, climate-controlled room full of strangers with a tub of hangover-curing carbohydrates? Here’s a look at the possibilities.
The Movie: “The Wedding Song”
The Trailer: Set in Tunis in 1942, during the Nazi occupation, “The Wedding Song” tells the story of two best friends—one a Muslim and one a Jew—who’re both preparing for their arranged marriages, one to her sexy cousin and the other to an older doctor who can afford to pay the fines required from the Nazis of Jewish Tunisians. The film breathes with implied intimacy between the girls and follows the cultural and religious undertones throughout the wedding preparations.
The Hitch: As long as you have the attention span for subtitles, this looks to be a beautiful, intense, movie. The two wide-eyed actresses take on their individual burdens and cultural obligations while seeking emotional shelter in each other.
The Movie: “Gentlemen Broncos”
The Trailer: From the makers of “Napoleon Dynamite” comes the tale of a home-schooled geek who writes a book called Yeast Lords: The Bronco Years. But his sci-fi author-hero (Jemaine Clement from “Flight of the Conchords“) steals the manuscript and makes it his own. The film is broken up by imagined dramatizations of the book.
The Hitch: Critics have already taken a dump on “Gentlemen Broncos,” but I think it’s really important to support Jemaine Clement or else he might go back to New Zealand. I enjoy the overemphasized awkwardness of “Napoleon Dynamite,” so perhaps this will be a similarly cringe-worthy adventure into crazy people’s personas?
The Movie: “Saw VI”
The Trailer: In the sixth installment of the sadomasochistic horror series where people are made to pay for their sins in bloody, horrific ways, the Jigsaw Killer’s been dead for years but magically pre-taped his tortuous instructions. This version involves two mortgage brokers and the CEO of a health insurance company — since “Saw” is trying to stay relevant, I guess.
The Hitch: You couldn’t pay me to watch another of these movies. I tried once and was so disgusted. I don’t want to watch people getting tortured and being forced to cut their own bodies apart; it feels beyond wrong to witness this gore and, surprisingly, even for myself, I don’t like to watch suffering.
The Movie: “The House of the Devil”
The Trailer: A college girl who’s desperate for money takes a babysitting gig that requires no babysitting at all, but rather hanging out in the creepiest house ever while awful things continuously happen, including devil worshiping, a lunar eclipse, and ’80s fashion mistakes. Not that it matters what you’re wearing if you’re going to be killed.
The Hitch: Slightly campy, plenty scary. It’s hard not to be frustrated when the girls in horror movies keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Why can’t they just hang out in well-lit parks in the daytime and pick up some pepper spray already?