The Stuff Of Legends: Angelina Jolie’s Sex Life
It’s been a big week for rumors about Angelina Jolie’s life, pre-Brad. First came the bombshell rumor from Andrew Morton’s tell-all book that when Angie was 16 she did the horizontal polka with her mom’s boyfriend. Next up came the revelation that of all the people in the world, Angelina once had her eye on Rosie O’Donnell. Rosie told Howard Stern that Angelina, back in the day, asked for her number and called a few times. “There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through,” she said. “I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.” [OK!]
Hmmm … I’m just not sure whether to believe these two rumors. Then again, have you ever noticed that a large percentage of the whispering about Angelina sounds, well, a bit looney—as if she’s the stuff of sexual legends? Here’s a look at some of the most interesting rumors. The Legend: She’s been getting naked with boys since kindergarten.
Plausibility Rating (on a scale of 1 to 10): 10, at least according to Miss Jolie herself. “I was very sexual in kindergarten,” she said. “I created a game where I would kiss the boys and give them cooties.Then we would make out and we would take our clothes off. I got in a lot of trouble!” [Metro]
The Legend: Angelina and Brad seduced supermodel Karolina Kurkova for a celebrity threesome. [The National Ledger]
Plausibility Rating: 7. Put three sexy super-bombs in the same room and who’d believe it if nothing happened? This rumor started because Karolina supposedly bragged about it. Who wouldn’t?
The Legend: Her high school boyfriend moved in with her when she was 15. [Religion Facts]
Plausibility Rating: 8. If Angelina’s mom, Marcheline Bertrand, were still alive, she could settle the score on this one, plus let us know if there’s a kernel of truth to the rumor about Angie and her boyfriend. But this sounds reasonably possible if he had an unhappy home life or something.
The Legend: She once cut a boyfriend after sex.
Plausibility Rating: 10. This one’s true—we have Angie’s word on it. “I had started having sex with my boyfriend and the sex and the emotions didn’t feel enough. In a moment of wanting to feel closer to my boyfriend I grabbed a knife and cut him. He cut me back.” [Metro]
The Legend: For her first wedding, she wore the groom’s name painted in blood on her t-shirt. [About]
Plausibility Rating: 4. As many times as we’ve heard this rumor, it just sounds far-fetched.
The Legend: She had an affair with a body guard named Chisel. [Insider]
Plausibility Rating: 3. Is this the same bodyguard who answers to the name Mickey Brett and wants to release a tell-all book about Mr. and Mrs Smith? Brett’s credibility is shot among U.S. immigration officials, and he also may have told a teeny lie on his job application about British SAS commando service, before he was hired to guard the two very hot celebrity bodies. Whether or not this complicated story is just more smokescreen material, this guy isn’t very credible.
The Legend: She kept a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck.
Plausibility Rating: Angelina has debunked this rumor on the Huffington Post. 5. It wasn’t a vial of blood, she said—it was a bloody fingerprint pressed between slides like a flower. Way to debunk a confusing rumor — add more outrageous fuel to the fire until I don’t know what to think.
The Legend: She had an affair with her brother. [Scandalist]
Plausibility Rating: 1. Yeah, there’s no point denying that millions of people watched Angie kiss James Haven at the 2000 Oscars, but neither sibling has ever confirmed doing the deed together. For the sake of their psychological health, I prefer to err on the side of optimist.
The Legend: She sought advice from porn star Tera Patrick, with whom she’s said to have an email thing going, when she was up for the role of Cat Woman. (The role went to Charlize Theron.)
Plausibility Rating: 4. Angie asking acting advice from a section of the entertainment industry whose stars can barely make tuition? I dunno.
Looking at the gossip compiled together makes it all seem more like a telenovela than real life.