Passive Boy Behavior That Really, Really Annoys Us

We know it all too well—boys will be boys. But sometimes it’s not the things they do that drive us insane, but rather the things they don’t do. Here, our least favorite passive-aggressive guy behaviors and moments when we wish they’d make it a habit of stepping up to the plate. Mind you, these aren’t necessarily dealbreakers, but just the things that tend to make us go ugh!

  1. Making you pick the place for a date when the ball was in his court. He thinks saying, “Tell me where and when” shows he’s an easy-going fellow, but it can also come across as a lack of interest, as if to say, “I could care less about going on a date with you.”
  2. Expressing no preference for food or movies. Similarly, when you’re making plans and ask him, “Hey, what do you feel like eating tonight?” and he says, “Whatever. Whatever you want,” you’re again left with the stress of picking something, which oftentimes ends up being neutral and boring. It’s also a missed opportunity to talk about your tastes and see what you have in common.
  3. “You look tired.” He might just be trying to say this out of concern, but what we really hear is, “You don’t look hot.” If a guy is going to say this and get away with it, he should follow up with a sweet offer to help you relax.
  4. IMing you, and then taking forever to respond. “Hey!” he writes. “Hey, back. How’s it going?” you reply. And then nothing for five minutes. Five minutes that you sit there waiting in anticipation. Why would he even message in the first place if he has nothing to talk about?
  5. Complaining about all the things they need to take care of. If he’s gotten behind on life, why don’t guys just outright tell you they need to take some time to do things? What’s worse is an excuse which he thinks may sound sweet like, “I just haven’t taken care of this because I’ve been spending so much time with you.” Great, so we’re responsible for your late bills?
  6. Leaving the toilet seat up at your place. OK, we get it—asking a guy to remember this is like asking the DMV to eliminate excessive waits. But seriously, when he makes the effort to put the lid down it doesn’t go unappreciated. (Other bathroom complaints: not having a trash can in there or continually being out of toilet paper.)
  7. Throwing condoms on the floor. Post-sex, what ladies do not want to see is a nasty used condom. And the last thing we want is to step on the squishy mess on the way to the bathroom. If he’s not going to make the effort to get up and put it in the trash, he could at least wrap it up in a tissue.
  8. Giving only a 30 percent effort on supposedly sweet gestures. We’re talking gifts of over-the-hill flowers or generic brand chocolates. Depending on the situation, a spur-of-the-moment gift like that can actually be really endearing, but when it comes to showing appreciation on special occasions, it can feel disappointing. (Side note: When it comes to big gifts like jewelry, it never hurts to make sure it’s absolutely something she would want by asking one of her friends. The worst has to be when your boyfriend gives you an expensive gift you hate.)