• Sex

What’s Your Most Embarrassing Sexual Encounter?

There are few human interactions that are as ripe for embarrassment as sex. Think about it — all those juices flowing, body spasms, and orifices opening. If it weren’t for the sheer ecstasy of an orgasm and the fact that we have to continue our species, we probably wouldn’t bother. My most embarrassing sexual encounter was when I was a senior in high school. I was new to blow jobs, but my friend was an expert cunnilingus-giver (top-notch, even at that age). Anyway, he decided we should add whipped cream, which I hate, but thought: “When in Rome … ” He went down first. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Then, it was my turn. I hadn’t paid attention to how much cream he had used, and I sprayed two mountain peaks on his stomach and Johnson. Not one to back to down from a challenge, I dived in head first and quickly realized, as it transferred from him to my face, that there was no way I was consuming all that whipped cream. I started gagging from the sugar, which isn’t a sexy look. He ended up wiping it from his body and my face with a T-shirt. And then we were both too sticky, and me too nauseous, to continue doing anything. I’m happy to say we’re still friends. Tell us your most embarrassing sexual encounter in the comments.

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