10 Tips For Denim Shopping With The Boyfriend

Many boys wear bad jeans. Not always, but it happens. Next time your boy goes denim shopping, tag along and keep him from making the same mistakes once again. Whether that boy is your boyfriend, your dad or any other male with whom you spend any amount of time, they’ll resent you at the time but appreciate it once they realize it no longer looks like their asses are eating their pants.

  1. Boys shouldn’t wear skinny jeans. Period. Next.
  2. Avoid pockets that are too big, small, low or embellished at all costs. There’s really no reason to have a rhinestone-encrusted tiger on your ass.
  3. Jeans should hover no more than an inch above the ground at the heel and no less than half an inch below. Hemming the new denim will cost maybe $10, so talk him into it.
  4. If you can see half of his boxers, shut it down.
  5. Really light washes are for farmers. A dark indigo with minimal distressing is most flattering.
  6. Unless the flare is very, very slight, boot cut jeans have limited place in a man’s closet. Straight leg ones, however, are almost universally flattering.
  7. He may not realize it, but black or dark gray denim can be worn almost like trousers for a night out. We call that multi-tasking.
  8. Cats have whiskers. Pants shouldn’t. That silly over-distressing popular amongst gel-haired, Ed Hardy-wearing club fondlers is a no.
  9. Just because Obama can pull of mom jeans doesn’t mean your boyfriend can. He may be full on awesome, but he’s just not cool enough — aka POTUS — to cancel out the hideousness. We promise.
  10. A button fly is hot. We don’t know why. It just is.