Melanie Sims wrote an essay called “Dating Like a White Girl” for the November issue of Essence magazine. In the piece, she says she rewrote her “conservative Black girl dating rules” to have fun with dating and get over a man who was unfaithful. Here’s her explanation:
“Yes, I’m stereotyping White girls as footloose and free based on my first introduction to courtship (Kelly Kapowski on “Saved by the Bell“) and the White women in the cubicle next to me who don’t live in fear of some looming man shortage.”
While I can agree with Sims that black women are expected to hold on to a man, even if he’s no good, because we feel we’ll never make it down the aisle otherwise, I can’t understand why the opposite of this means dating like a white girl. Don’t white women hang on to men that treat them badly too? And does dating for fun somehow make you loose?
One thing writing for The Frisky has taught me is that women in general have similar issues with dating. We fall in love with the one man who isn’t ready for marriage when we’ve already planned our dream wedding. And our biological clocks are on the brain constantly if we want to be mothers. Yet, there are some of us who simply enjoy playing the field without the pressure of becoming wife material.
With her new carefree dating rules in mind, Sims says she’s seeing men she wouldn’t have given a chance before, i.e., a Jamaican valet. But I think she really needs to spend some time getting to know the ladies.