From “Melrose Place” Ashlee Simpson Should Move On To …

For those of you who’ve been watching the rebooted “Melrose Place,” you no doubt get a little giddy every time Ashlee Simpson-Wentz‘s character, Violet, appears onscreen. Violet is the daughter of the now-dead Sydney Andrews who’s majorly sketchy—on the last episode she seduced Sydney’s old lovah, Dr. Michael Mancini, and then gave him a heart attack by showing up as his nanny and threatening to tell his wife about their backseat escapades. With Ashlee, it’s hard to tell if (a) she’s a really bad, spazzy actress or (b) if she’s actually a really good actress who’s nailed playing a girl who is nutso, off-balance, and incredibly awkward in social situations. I’ve been inclined to think it’s the former, but you never know. Sadly, Ashlee’s ride on the show has come to an end. Entertainment Weekly has the scoop that Ash has been given her pink slip from the show. The show’s executive producer says it was always the plan to only keep her around for a little while and that once the mystery of who killed Sydney was solved, Ashlee would move on. Ashlee has already released a statement on her ouster. She said, “Having the chance to play Violet on ‘Melrose Place’ has been a thrill. Although I always knew her story would come to a final, insanely unpredictable end, playing a creepy, unstable character was something I always wanted to do, so I jumped at the chance. Thanks to the CW and the entire cast and crew of ‘Melrose Place’ for allowing me this opportunity.” [EW]

Luckily, Ashlee doesn’t have to suffer through being the only original character let go from the show—Colin Egglesfield who played Auggie is out, too. But still. Here are some suggestions for what we think Ashlee should do next.

  • Spring for a lawyer to help Nadya Suleman’s fertility doctor get reinstated by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Then have him implant her with lots of embryos, so she and Pete can get a headstart on that soccer team of kids he wants.
  • Petition the producers of “Saturday Night Live” to give her another shot. Maybe this time as the host, since she has some acting on her resume, to avoid another hoedown situation?
  • Every other starlet in the world is working on a celebrity clothing and accessories line. So, to differentiate herself from the pack, Ashlee should create a line of designer noses for anyone, like herself, who wants a new shnoz.
  • Um, make a new album?
  • Have another baby and name it Queens (for a girl) or Harlem (for a boy).
  • Take some time off to play matchmaker for her big sis. Maybe should could put out a national call for guys and make it into a reality series? Or wait, does Pete have a brother?
  • Team up with Tori Spelling and Jayson Blair and start an organization to end discrimination against people with alternative spellings of their names.

Are you sad that Ashlee is leaving “Melrose Place”?

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