Paris Hilton threw a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt this weekend, and you’ll never guess what she did! I don’t even know where she came up with this. Are you ready? She jumped out of a cake! In a hot pink costume and black diamond mask no less! OMG, right?
No, seriously though, will famous people knock it off with the half-naked cake surprise? Every celebrity hussy has given it a go, from Scary Spice to Jessica Simpson to Jenna Jameson. Even Hugh Hefner wasn’t that psyched when Pamela Anderson came out of his 82nd b-day cake naked.
That’s because no one is surprised, ever. They don’t just make cakes that are 5 feet tall for the hell of it. When we see a cake of that heft, we know what’s about to happen. And mostly, we just want to eat the cake. Not to be close-minded, but I don’t really want to eat something that’s been inhabited by a girl in lingerie or less—that’s just unsanitary! I don’t wish her ill will, but it would be much cooler for Paris to fall 60 feet out of a hovering silver balloon, in a matching silver bikini. Or maybe she could find her way out of a straight jacket, locked up with chains, while submerged in water? That’s sexy, right?