Drugs, Alcohol, Celebrities And Television Can Be A Deadly Combination

Jet lag? I think not. In this 2007 interview to promote “ER” in Australia, John Stamos was clearly wasted out of his mind. In fact, the first word out of his mouth was “vodka.” He followed it up by reading the host’s lines off the teleprompter and making crude gestures. Two years later, John is finally admitting that he was in fact on sleeping pills and also just plain ol’ “plastered” in this clip. Duh. Well, at least he’s not a real doctor. [Celebitchy]

After the jump, some more of our favorite under-the-influence television appearances. Whether the stars admit it or not.

Paula Abdul on FOX
I don’t think Paula was just exhausted during this interview, as she claimed at the time. She’s clearly out of her mind on uppers. I quote, “[William Hung] has a tremendous amount of art.” What more must I say? Fortunately, she later admitted she had a pill problem.

Brit on “Chaotic”
I hate to bring this up once again … but Brit stoned on the worst-ever reality show ever, “Chaotic,” will never get old for me. “I’m ugly,” “My jaw hurts,” and then she eats butter beans, scratches herself, and burps. Gets me every time.

Anna Nicole Smith on the American Music Awards
R.I.P., Anna. Now I guess we’ll never know what cocktail she was on when she was a presenter at the American Music Awards. We do know that it was not freaking genius.

Courtney Love, Post-VMAs
We knew s**t was gonna go down when Courtney Love started throwing stuff at Madonna during her interview after the MTV VMAs with Kurt Loder. Only we didn’t know how bad it would get. She was in dire need of more than attention … she was in dire need of rehab. Still is.

Whitney Houston on “Primetime”
In this haunting interview, a clearly crack-addicted Whitney Houston tells Diane Sawyer that she doesn’t smoke crack … not because she’s clean but because it’s cheap. OK, so she was smoking expensive crack? At least she’s cleaned up her act for the time being.

Tom Cruise on “Oprah”
I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that these are the actions of a Scientologist in love. He is certainly gone, and it’s certainly not induced by Katie Holmes. The only likely explanation is that he was injected with a foreign substance by his alien friends. Either that or he was high on Earth schwag.