This Is Not A Flower Necklace

VulvaLoveLovely is an Etsy retailer which sells custom-made vaginal portrait jewelry. Simply send a photo of your vag and the artist will make a lifelike replica of it, dangling from a chain! The point is to encourage women to celebrate their vulvas and stuff, which is nice, but VulvaLoveLovely isn’t satisfied with just a photo — they want your vaginal feelings too. “Send me a convo describing your vagina: the shape of your inner and outer labia, colors, how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia, how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded, or can you see it fairly easily?” Um, yeah, I’m with Regretsy on this one:

“You know, it’s unnerving enough that there’s someone out there, painstakingly making polymer replicas of your cooter … [but] if I’m going to spend that much time online talking to a stranger about my p**sy, I better be playing with myself.”