Product Review: The Sqweel Gets The Job Done, Loudly

Ask and ye shall receive! A few weeks ago, I posted about the Sqweel, a 10-tongued sex toy that promised to blow my mother-effing mind, and wished that someone would get it for me for Christmas. A few days later, one arrived at my desk. The timing was perfect, as this weekend was rainy and cold in New York, so indoor activities were already on the menu. Did the Sqweel live up to my expectations? Find out, after the jump. First, the construction. For those who were concerned the twirling 10-tongue action would, um, burn or blister the clitoris, have no fear. The soft and rubbery tongues are totally gentle on the nether-regions. However, if you’re sensitive, the Sqweel does have three speed settings, though I found HIGH to be the way to go. (FYI, the wheel o’ tongues can be removed from the device for cleaning.)

The Sqweel works well. I was, uh, done in two minutes flat, and in terms of orgasm strength, allow me to get a little cerebral. You know how orgasms during oral sex feel a little different than, say, orgasms during sex or with a vibrator? I think it has to do with the kind of pressure. Anyhow, an orgasm with the Sqweel feels more like one you have during oral sex, which I guess makes sense considering the tongues are trying to mimic the oral sex experience.

With all that being said the Sqweel is LOUD. Really, if your neighbors overhead, they might think you were making whip cream from scratch, or drilling holes, or playing with a remote control car. It’s kind of distracting, especially if you’re someone who likes to masturbate on the down-low.