My birthday is Aug. 27, 1987 and my Libra boyfriend is Oct. 1, 1986. I just can’t understand my boyfriend’s actions right now. We met back in February and fell deeply in love. After about two months, he got scared and left me. I didn’t contact him at all while he did his disappearing act, but two months later, in August, he contacted me. He even had the nerve to get angry because he called me late at night and I didn’t answer because I was asleep. Still, he appeared to be a different man — I gave him the cold shoulder at first, but when he pleaded his case and proved he was truly different by voicing all of his feelings openly and honestly, I believed him and let him earn my trust back. Now here it is October, and I haven’t heard from him in almost a week. He’s doing his disappearing act again. He says he’s scared because he’s joined the Army and he’s very depressed — but that he does love me. I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to leave me again. This was so sudden. He was tender and loving one night, and then two days later he doesn’t want to talk to me. He leaves for the Army next month and I’ve only had two five-minute phone conversations with him for a month now. I can’t continue like this in a relationship. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know whether to think he’s leaving me or not. Please help! – Jeanne
Run! There’s nothing you can do in this situation and the longer you wait on the sidelines, the farther you put yourself from a place of respect in your eyes and his. He thinks he can go off and do whatever he wants and because he’s done it before, he knows he can do it again. Not to say he can’t be sincere in some of what he’s saying, or authentically confused, but the fact is he is not considering your feelings as a priority. You need to take responsibility for your emotions and realize you deserve more than the crumbs he wants to give out at his convenience.
He signs himself up for the Army and then gets depressed? Sounds like he is running without a plan and with a guy like this, there is no way he can possibly have a real relationship, as he can’t even figure himself out.
As a Virgo with Libra moon and your Mercury, Venus and Mars all in Virgo, you do have a tendency to be too patient and too willing to work with someone so difficult. In fact, him being messed up might, on some level, make you want him more, so you can help, which Virgos love to do — but in this situation, you can’t build a real relationship alone. His disappearing acts won’t just stop — however you should try one of your own, as waiting isn’t healthy for you and to have no answers is just wrong.
Luckily, Mars went into Leo on Oct. 16, in your confidence house, and will be there until Jun. 7, giving you a long time to soak in this influence and reclaim your self esteem, because the longer you give into this guy, the more he will take away.
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