Our boys at Asylum have created the handy “10 Things You Should Never Tweet After Sex” guide. Their post-coital Twitter no-nos include “LOL, looks like the condom slipped off, hope she didn’t notice,” “Not as good as her mom, but not bad,” and “It’s confirmed, I’m definitely gay.” Here are 10 tweets the ladies should avoid after doing the horizontal mambo. 1. Does anyone know if the morning-after pill causes amnesia? I need to forget this as soon as possible.
2. I haven’t seen a back that hairy since I broke up with Chewbacca.
3. @hotstud4U Hey, I’m free now. What are you doing? Can I come over?
4. What does it mean if you have a lot of tiny red dots on — well, never mind.
5. I hope I’m pregnant. Too bad I’ll have no idea who the father is.
6. If one more guy asks me to “slob his knob,” I don’t know what I’ll do.
7. It’s confirmed, I’m definitely a lesbian.
8. Sometimes sex leads to personal discovery. I guess I’m not a size queen after all. Weird!
9. If he doesn’t call me, I’M GOING TO GO TOTALLY INSANE.
10. Was that him or his twin brother? Eh. Who cares.