Do You Speak Fashion? Let Us Translate.

When it comes to highbrow fashion, even we get a bit lost when it comes to reading the obtuse critiques of fashion journalists or hearing the vague, but supposedly deep, inspirations from designers. Today, the Guardian proudly calls out the incoherent information fashion designers spit out to “explain” their collections. And quite rightly, seeing as what the Alexander Wangs and Karl Lagerfelds of the world have to say doesn’t quite match up with what you see on the runway. So we decided to take a closer look at what a handful of top designers had to say about their collections, and we’ve helpfully translated. []

  1. Stefano Pilati, head designer for YSL, said the collection was “utilitarian chic.” As for the weird strawberry prints that appeared on the runway: “You know the strawberry is a sort of nostalgia of the irony that has always been an important part of fashion.”
    Translation: “I’ve been strangely influenced by Hello Kitty and other Sanrio images.”
  2. Donna Karan explains her inspiration as coming from “the clouds, the water, the sea, the sun: just being in the atmospheric love and bringing it back to that urban sexy sophistication — taking a towel and just wrapping it around yourself.”
    Translation: “I spend much of my privileged life in the Hamptons.”
  3. Well, Marc Jacobs apparently has a more down-to-earth explanation of his crazy-haired collection: “”It’s a fashion show and there are clothes …This was not a cerebral collection.”
    Translation: “I’m no fool, Mr. Reporter. What do you think runway shows are for?”
  4. Karl Lagerfeld on making his models have a threesome in a haystack: “My best friends are all lesbians. It’s very easy for people to live with lesbians. Men don’t dislike women, why women should dislike women, hmm?”
    Translation: “Lesbo threesomes generate press. Hello.