Rainbow Brite, We’ll Always Remember You Before You Got Slutty

Rainbow Brite was the original fag hag, what with her sassy attitude, outrageous clothes and her BF, Twink. Those of us who were little kids in the ’80s spent Saturday mornings entranced by her intergalactic adventures, and she was a good role model for young girls because she could do anything the boys could (and usually told all them what to do). One thing our beloved heroine was not: sexy. And that’s OK, because she is a children’s character. Fast-forward to spring 2010, when Hallmark will unveil the modern Rainbow Brite and Co. The original childish bodies have been replaced by elongated, leggy versions of their former selves. Twink’s new name is Twinkle (gee, wonder why?). Wait a sec, didn’t this happen to Strawberry Shortcake and Dora, too? When will the madness end? [Jezebel]

The outrageous before and after, plus a bonus vintage video, after the jump!
Look at these sweet, innocent ‘lil cherubs. The kind of company you could safely leave your kids with.


Look at these whores on the prowl. It’s like they grew up and went shopping for slutty Halloween costumes!

Now, here’s how we remember Rainbow Brite. As a take-charge kind of role model. May her memory live on in the hearts of Gen Y forever more.

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