How To Do The Falling Model Dance

Even professional runway walkers have off-days. Yes, sometimes models wobble, and sometimes they fall down. Inspired by the this season’s models who hit the skids on the catwalk — thanks to all those crazy high heels — we’ve created a new dance: The Falling Model. There are three basic moves. Pick which one works for you, then try it out on the dance floor. You’ll impress all your fashionista friends!

The Oh-Hell-No: Pinwheel both arms, sending the right arm up and the left arm down as you dip towards the ground. Freeze. Smile like you know what you’re doing. Push out your chest as if you’re on the verge of a nip-slip. On tiptoe, spread your legs slightly, but do not flash your panties. Stand up. Do it again.

The Drop-It-Like-You’re-Hot: Weave, stagger, bob. Fall to one knee. Point at foot. Don’t move. Let hair fall in face. Let neckline gape open. Let hemline ride up. Maintain position until hottest guy in the club asks if you’re OK. Get up and dance with him.

The Kersplat: Only for the most experienced. Try to walk in a straight line. Cross ankles, stumble, crash. Crawl around on the dance floor on all fours like you’re trying to find something. Ignore anybody who tries to help you. Locate dignity. Remove shoes. Dance barefoot until they throw your ass out.