Advice For Dudes: The Top 5 Online Dating Dos And Don’ts
Are you a dude on an online dating site? Are you having trouble getting women to actually go out with you? Not sure why? The problem may be you! From corny pickup lines to photo no-nos to profile mistakes, The Frisky gives you the lowdown on the top five mistakes men make when dating online — from the female perspective. Get it right and we might let you take us out on a date! Photo No-Nos: Don’t post a photo of yourself holding a beer. Do you think we want to know what brand of beer you drink? This is not Sigma Pi, and we care not. Don’t post photos of yourself in which we can’t see you. If you’re standing 100 yards from the camera, your face is in shadow, or if you’re wearing a hat, you’re messing with our dudedar. If we can’t get a good look at you to figure out what kind of guy you might be, we probably won’t get within 100 yards of you. Don’t post photos of yourself looking ridiculous: dressed as a clown, covered in cake frosting, wearing Mardi Gras beads. We’re looking for a mate, not a party animal. Do post recent photos of yourself in which you look happy and handsome. Now we’re talking.
Be an Original: On an online dating site, you’re one dude in a crowded virtual room. If you want to get one-on-one time with the ladies, you’re going to have to stand out from the rest of the pack. If your profile describes you as “nice,” “outgoing,” “friendly,” “sincere,” “funny,” “kind,” “adventurous,” or “hard working,” we probably fell asleep before we finished reading it. Next! Do you know how many other guys use those exact same words? All of them. Get creative with your bio, bust out a thesaurus, and go out on a limb. Tell us what makes you unique and different, and we’ll recognize your specialness through the virtual haze. Don’t tell us you’re funny; be funny. Remember, you’re selling yourself, and your buyer is a woman. We don’t want to read a generic, boring, cliché-addled personal resume. We’re emotional buyers, and the real you closes the deal.
Get It Right: Women read anything into everything. But you knew that already, right? Checking out your profile, we’re looking over your stats, we’re eying your pictures, we’re scanning your prose. We’re trying to get a sense of who you are through every detail. Because this is a buyers’ market (ours!), we’re looking for a reason to exclude you. Take the time to polish your profile. A spell-checked, grammatically correct, well-written profile shows us you’re on the ball personally and professionally, not some ne’er-do-well living in his mother’s basement. While you’re at it, don’t fudge the facts. The truth about your age, height, and income are bound to come out down the line if we date. Women are like hunting dogs when it comes to sniffing out BS. Honesty is sexy.
Making a Move: We know it’s not easy hitting on a chick. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make us any more merciful. Start off with a lame line, and we’re bound to shoot you down or, worse yet, ignore you. “How was your weekend?” “You seem like an interesting person.” “How are you today?” Bo-ring. “Do you have any pictures of yourself in a bikini?” Pervert alert! “If you go out with me, I’ll be eternally grateful.” Yeah, um, no. You know what scores with women? Specificity. Take the time to get to know her virtually and respond specifically to something in her profile. Whether it’s going to Coachella, eating cottage cheese with ketchup, or trekking to Machu Picchu, point out the bonds that exist between us. Before you know it, we’ll be responding “yes” to your date request.
Real-Time Dating: Don’t email us forever. Get on with it already! We’re going to know within the first five minutes of meeting you if you’re the guy for us or not. When we’ve gone back and forth via email for long enough to get comfortable, ask us out on a no-pressure date. Drinks or dinner. No movies or beach trip. Follow the golden rule: K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid.) If you ask her out, and she hesitates significantly, turns you down, or blows you off, move on to the next one. If we don’t jump at the bait, we’re probably not really that interested. Once you’re in the room together, well, that’s on you, buddy. Just keep one thing in mind: Making a girl laugh is one of the surest ways to win her heart.