For The Week Of October 5-11, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Keep it cool when it comes to impressing that cute new someone this week. There is no reason you have to work at it. Besides, if you start the ball rolling now, you inevitably will go into your manic mode and wind up doing everything. Stop, think and stop. If you want to change those failed relationship patterns of your past, this is where it all starts. Let him come to you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Trying to stay polite in your speech is sweet and all, but you know you are currently feeling some rage, so let it out. Situations and people you’ve been making excuses for no longer deserve them. Get real with yourself; then get real with them. No one gets any pleasure from getting the short end of the stick, so turn it around and get the best.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Pay attention to your instincts. They’ll be in turbo alert mode for the next few weeks, saving you from tremendous aggravation. Promises made, confessions spilt, plans set — whatever the case, you’ll know if there is real sincerity and truth behind it all with the precision of a surgeon. What you do with it though, you’ll have to wait and see.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Get the coordinated outfits going and the mega watt smiles beaming, because it’s time to show off as an IT couple. Whatever the case, whether it’s a job function or a family thing, playing into a perception of how others want to see you will benefit you both financially down the line. If anything, think of it as a role-playing exercise.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Beware of s**t trickling down into your home life. Chances are big for stress to hit at the office and for you or your honey to be the other’s whipping post as a result. If this winds up being you, call it out when he misbehaves and ride the guilt out long and strong. If it is you, well, be ready with a sob story and to turn the situation around at a moment’s notice if he calls you on it.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Routines are fine if you are a gerbil; otherwise, time to break out of your comfort zone and realize there are more ways to get off than just one. If you don’t change this way about you now, you might wind up very sad and lonely, as the boredom and anxiety brewing in your bedroom may reach its tipping point soon.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Who cares who is going to judge you, if it means getting off? Feel free to spill your secrets and show that you are more than just a pretty face. The dirtier the fantasies, the more delicious your rewards — as it seems that someone who can properly fulfill all your demented little dreams is merely just a phone call away, if you want it that is.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You are going to have to put your ego aside and play fair. Dealing with your baby will seem a little harder, as you can expect he’ll be speaking up for himself a little more these days — but seems to be his bravado will turn you on just enough to dull the pain from having to lower yourself to his demands.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re superficial and you know it. Own it, love it and embrace it. Don’t make excuses for yourself because the moment that you do, that is when things will start to backfire on you. Be proud of all sides of who you are. Because if the person you are hanging with is right, they will see you as honest, not shallow.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Let the words fly out of your mouth, because if you run out of pure emotions, your diatribes will be way more effective and poignant than if you try to edit yourself and plan what you’re going to say in advance. Besides, by now, you should know that everything you do is way better if you are flying by the seat of your pants.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Consider yourself screwed. Seems the wild game of cat and mouse you’ve been playing had too many players involved – it’s all about to catch up with you. Best to own up to the naughtiness immediately and take it from there. Truth will be the only thing to set you free, but even so, it might only grant you a pardon. Whatever the case, consider this karma doing its thing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

As long as you make whatever you want sound pretty, people will do as you say. And lucky you, influences will cause you to have poetry pouring from your mouth, so use it for good and share all those feelings, thoughts, plans and desires bottled inside that sweet little head of yours. The music coming from your mouth with be irresistible.