What Jon Gosselin Should Do Now That He’s Booted From TLC

Poor Jon Gosselin has done a lot of soul-searching this week. After finding out that TLC would no longer be needing his services since “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ is becoming “Kate Plus 8,” Jon has taken stock of his life and made a few serious realizations. First, he decided that he didn’t really want to divorce Kate, and had his lawyer file paperwork to try to stall the divorce for 90 days. This was not a lame attempt to get ink in this week’s tabloids, but a serious change of heart. Nice touch, being photographed with his girlfriend the next day. Then, after four years of gladly participating in “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” Jon has decided that being on a reality TV show is not good for his kids. So, according to People, he had his lawyer draw up a cease-and-desist letter, banning camera crews from entering the Gosselin residence. Oh, and he also blew the whistle on TLC to the state labor department saying that they have not properly compensated his kids for appearing on the show. Again, this was not sour grapes about being booted from the show—this was a serious epiphany about his children’s mental well-being. Or wait, maybe he prepaid his lawyer and is just trying to get his money’s worth now? [CNN]

Now that Jon is out of a job and obviously craving attention, here are eight suggestions for how he could pay the bills and stay in the spotlight.

  • Find a sugar mama. Preferably one of note. Maybe off Jesus Luz and go for Madonna?
  • Call a tabloid and feed them the story that you are schizophrenic. Then, produce a rival show called “John Plus the Eight Voices in My Head.”
  • Start a weekend-long seminar on scoring lady folk, à la The Game.
  • Open a babysitting service. Hey, no one can keep an eye on more kids at a time than you, and local news networks love a heartwarming story.
  • Kidnap one or two of the kids and hold them until TLC gives you a nice ransom.
  • Start dating Nadya Suleman. That will bring the tabs back to your door, not to mention the most kidrific reality TV show ever.
  • Start a non-profit for those whose lives have been ruined by reality TV shows.
  • Become an Elvis impersonator. You already have the look.

What do you think Jon Gosselin should do now?