Remote Control: What You’ll Want To Watch The Week of September 28th 2009

Fall is in full swing, and your TV is probably your best friend right now thanks to all the new shows on air. The biggest news this week: tomorrow night “The Hills” are alive with the sound of Kristin. Also going down this week: a special guest star belts it out on “Glee“; “Private Practice” returns after a cliffhanger; and Ryan Reynolds and Lady Gaga team up on “Saturday Night Live.”

The Show: “The Hills”
Set Your DVR For: Tuesday, 10 p.m. (EST), MTV
This season of “The Hills,” Lauren Conrad is dunzo and mean girl Kristin Cavallari is stepping in to keep the drama going. What’s this I see? Kristen playing tonsil hockey with Justin Bobby? Heidi’s pushing for a baby and thinks women expire at 22? Now Kristin’s after Brody, while simultaneously saying that their sex life is vanilla? Holly’s going to rehab? Audrina’s feuding with everyone? Spencer’s cowboy hat is ridiculous? Geez, this season looks like it’s going to be amazing. I know the sad truth of this show is that you get absolutely all the juicy moments in the previews and the episodes don’t actually add much, but you best bet that I’ll be liveblogging the season premiere tomorrow night. And I’ll stick with it through “The City.”

The Show: “Glee”
Set Your DVR For: Wednesday, 9 p.m. (EST), Fox
Remember last week when the McKinley High football team did their interpretation of “Single Ladies”? Yeah, that was awesome. And this week’s episode starring Kristin Chenoweth looks just as dope. She plays a coach brought in to spice up the glee club’s routines.

The Show: “Behind the Music: Bret Michaels”
Set Your DVR For: Thursday, 10 p.m. (EST), VH1
Are you having “Rock of Love” withdrawal? Me too! This “Behind the Music” should do the trick, giving you oodles of scandal-tastic Bret moments. Hopefully, it’ll answer the question of whether his hair is attached to the ever-present bandana, or whether it’s just an all-out wig.

The Show: “Private Practice”
Set Your DVR For: Thursday, 10 p.m. (EST)
Yes, “Private Practice” is insanely over-dramatic. But remember on last season’s finale when the weird roommate from “Felicity” stabbed Violet because she was carrying her baby? And then cut said baby out? I’ll be tuning in to find out what happens next.

The Show: “Saturday Night Live”
Set Your DVR For: Saturday, 11:30 p.m. (EST), NBC
Last Saturday’s episode may have sucked, but this week’s is gonna be the bomb. Ryan Reynolds is hosting and Lady Gaga is the musical guest and she’ll be performing the new single off “The Fame Monster.” It’s like they tapped into our brains.