Eau de Jizz? French Perfume Company’s Got Some Wack Scents

The French have some weird ideas when it comes to personal odors. To wit, what I like to call the “French Shower,” is where you don’t bathe for three days and douse yourself with deodorant and perfume. Which is why it doesn’t surprise me that French perfume company, L’Etat Libre d’Orange, produces a range of bizarre scents. The labels tend to say it all, but to get to the nitty-gritty, “Sécrétions Magnifiques” interprets the essence of semen, which comes off as a heavy, musty smell with hints of iris and coconut. Then there’s “Vraie Blonde” (true blonde), with a label implicating that the carpet matches the drapes, and an aroma of champagne and rose. Other choices: “Je suis un homme,” with a label sporting a penis-shaped gun and “Putain des Palaces” (slut of the palaces), pictured with a key entering a vagina-like shape.

Thanks to “Sécrétions Magnifiques,” the penis perfume, I will never again be able to associate the word “spritz” with fragrances. [Etatlibredorange.com]

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