Last night I had a bizarre dream. In the dream I was a vampire. I was hanging out in this dark mansion at night with a bunch of other people, none of whom I recognize from waking life. I was the only vampire, but it seemed as if there were two of me; one that was watching from a removed point of view, and the other that was a twelve-year-old child vampire. This child was quite charming, and everyone liked her, even though she was a vampire. As I watched, she began to stalk a boy (similar in age to her), and when she got him alone she ate all of his skin off. He remained alive, but skinless and bloody. She then barfed all of his blood back onto him, and ate it again. She started stalking other people in the same manner, only attacking when they were alone. She had a voracious appetite. I thought I should warn her that this behavior might not be acceptable to the others, but she ate my skin off and, as I was sitting there a gooey mess, patiently convinced me that she was serving some higher purpose, some higher good. All the time I recognized that she was a projection of myself–I was both she and I at the same time. Later, everyone sat down to have a conference, during which she explained her plan, and I defended it. Nobody was convinced, and this began a heated argument, at which point I woke up. Any insight? – Skinless
Since I’m not concerned that you’re an actual vampire (they don’t really exist, right?), let’s talk about what the heck all this gory dream means.
I am most interested in the two vampires representing the 12-year-old you and you now. Looking past all of the blood and guts, I would say that this dream is about you and your search for identity; the dream seems to be asking, “Who was I then, who am I now, and who do I want to be?” As any woman can confirm being 12 is a really awkward and confusing time. Translation: Middle school sucks. Perhaps something significant happened in your life at that time that made this time even more difficult than usual for you? Like the child vampire, I’m thinking you were good-natured and purposeful yet you looked to others quite a bit for sustenance. The fact that the child vampire’s particular strategy is to find someone and eat their skin lets me know that you probably did not feel comfortable in your own skin. In order to combat that feeling you may have really turned to friends to try to help define you. Still, this did nothing but make the young vampire sick. Getting too full on others is never the best meal … even for a vampire.
Onto you now: I would guess that you are once again going through a time of intense questioning and introspection. The difference between the process now and when you were 12 is that you finally feel comfortable in your own skin. You don’t stalk others or eat their skin and you even warn the child vampire that getting your sustenance from others is not such a good idea. But even in your wisdom you let the child convince you that that this behavior may be OK f it serves a higher purpose. You seem to have compassion for your younger self and you defend her and her actions to the others, which shows me that although you have grown so much, this may be an old pattern that feels comfortable or familiar to you. The message to yourself? Be your own person. Don’t look to others, as you did in the past, to define who you are.
A word of advice, Skinless: You are no longer that little girl. You are older and wiser and no longer fall prey to the influence of others. Trust yourself. You are ready to stand alone – solid and confident as you move into the next phase of your life.
Have you had any crazy dreams lately? Dying to know what their hidden meaning is? No need to rush to your therapist’s office. The Dreamweaver is here to help. Email me your funniest, weirdest, wildest, and wackiest dreams and I’ll tell you what’s going on.