Tie Your Hair Back With A Thong, Cosmo Says!

Thanks to BuzzFeed for reminding me of something totally ridiculous that I noticed in the most recent issue of Cosmopolitan. We’ve already warned you about five sexual tips courtesy of the lady rag that you should absolutely not follow, but, oh, there are so many more. Take the “fun little trick guys love” suggested in the article above. “Use your thong as a hair tie!” Um, what? Why? When? Do not understand! But maybe dudes DO like this weird little move? I asked some guys for their gut response to this suggestion. Their responses, after the jump …

“I’ve never seen or heard of any female of any species tying her hair with her underwear, thong or otherwise. I’m not at all certain why that would be sexy. Is it the underwear she was just wearing? Or a separate pair? And then she tied her hair up with them … to have sex? I need details.”

“What? That’s retardo.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever.”

“I dated a girl who did that. She had long hair, and she’d wanna go down on me, and she didn’t have a hair tie handy, so she grabbed her thong and tied up her hair. It was awesome. It was like she couldn’t wait long enough to go down on me to go get a hair tie.”

“Sounds like she’s a whore who likes to use p***y juice instead of mousse in her hair or whatever it is you females spray on your hair.”

“Is it a clean thong or a dirty one?”