Um, No: Bowtie Jewelry For Dudes

“Honnneeeeyyy! I’m hooo-ooome!”

“Oh, Poindexter, I’ve missed you all day. Here’s your Scotch, and just let me loosen your tie for — what? What’s this? You’re wearing a bowtie now? And I don’t even have to undo it for you?”“That’s right, Wifey. I bought it specifically for you, so now your life is easier! That Ken Smith in accounting started wearing one for his wife, and now all the boys in the office have them. I got it from the fine fellows of Boos & Besito, who make these bowtie necklaces. I thought I’d spice it up with this ethnic print, but they come in several different varieties—there’s one in leather and there’s also one in denim.”

“Oh! Won’t that look spiffy when you’re on your new John Deere lawnmower.”

“Now, if you’d just take it off me and let me know when the meatloaf is ready.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I love you.” [$20, Boos & Besito, New High M(art)]