“I have a problem. I’m not only compelled to purchase weird-looking pants online, I also can’t stop myself from wearing said pants despite the fact that they are usually highly unflattering. There are my gray silk harem pants, my black Comme des Garcons for H&M drop-crotch trousers, pants with wide, exaggerated pockets and, I’m afraid to tell you, a pair of jeans that have a bustle affixed to the back. I love fashion and find joy in experimental and avant-garde clothing, but I’m afraid my passion has spilled over into fashion victim territory. Please help!”—Erin
Today on Style 911, a bit of self-help. Let’s talk poor sartorial choices, after the jump!
Well, hello Erin, what a pretty name you have! The pants, not so beautiful. While it’s perfectly OK to wear items that don’t necessarily flatter your figure, well, why would you? The preferred method is to wear clothes that look good on your body type, and everything else will just fall into place. I’m not saying you can’t appreciate crazy clothes. You can! But leave them on “eccentric” actresses and the runways of New York and Paris. The rule of thumb is, generally, if it looks weird on a model or genetically blessed famous person, chances are it will look even painfully worse on you. And when it comes to buying online, pants are the trickiest purchase to pull off. Shirts, dresses, accessories–you’ve usually got some room to work around. But when it comes to bottoms, you really have to try them on to see if they a) fit properly and b) actually look good. What’s promising in this scenario is that you’re able to admit you have a problem. When it comes to breaking any addiction, that’s a good first step. Trust me. I have been there. What do you have to do now? Stop buying all those freakin’ ugly pants! xoe
Have a fashion or beauty dilemma on your hands? Email your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line “Style 911” and we’ll do our best to help sort you out.