I’ve been on birth control pills off and on since I was 21 years old. I started taking them in college, when I was sleeping with someone off and on. Looking back, I suspect that going on the pill is what made that relationship so irregular, because I have this theory that deciding to go on the pill is a complete relationship curse.
I’m a fairly superstitious person. I totally think the chances of getting randomly laid occur on evenings when you’re going out with stubbly pubes; therefore, if you WANT to get some action, don’t jinx your chances by getting a Brazilian. Going on the pill has the same effect, only it jinxes a new relationship’s potential to go the distance
After the first love situation, I was off the pill for a few years, but went back on with my last serious boyfriend, but only after we said the L word. This addendum is key — because we were already in love, going on the pill was not a jinx, as we’d already made a verbal commitment to each other. Going on the pill (or getting an IUD) communicates to the dude and, like, the universe that you’re going to be monogamous — at least with your bodily fluids, which is just one step in the direction of getting serious with that person emotionally.
After my ex and I broke up, I didn’t really intend to go off the pill, but I was out of refills, so I kind of just threw up my hands and said, “Wahhhh, what’s the point? I’m never having sex again!” Then when I started dating and sleeping with Chicken Parm (remember him?), I eventually decided to go on the pill. I loathe condoms. And while much evidence shows that the withdrawal method, when practiced properly, is as effective as condoms, I didn’t love putting that effectiveness in the hands of someone else. So I went on the pill. Two weeks later Chicken Parm and I weren’t even speaking. Not because I went on the pill, but it definitely felt like the final nail in the coffin.
After a few months on the pill, I went off again for the same reason as before — my refills were up and I was too lazy to go to the gyno. Again, what was the point?
Now I’ve met someone new and I like him. (That’s all I will say about him because I also think writing excessively about someone I like on this site is a curse too.) I really should go on the pill, but I am, frankly, paranoid. I don’t act like a psycho on BC, so it’s not like I’m going to drive homeboy away with some serious “Exorcist” antics. I am mainly concerned that by going on the pill, my feelings — which I’ve, thus far, kept very close to my heart — will be transmitted out into the universe and my fear that things will get messed up will be realized.
So what to do?
UPDATE: Just to clarify, I am using protection.