Quickies: Susan Boyle’s Single Has Been Leaked & Prince Harry’s Girl Did Jack Osbourne

  • Susan Boyle’s first single was leaked. [The Sun] — To tell you the truth, I’ve never listened to a whole performance by this woman, and I don’t plan to even though she has an album.
  • Elton John can’t adopt a boy from the Ukraine because he is too old and isn’t traditionally married. [Fox News] — He could pull a Madonna and buy himself a child from another country instead.
  • Prince Harry’s new girlfriend is a party animal who once had a threesome with Jack Osbourne and another woman in a hot tub. [AdelaideNow] — Ewww. Jack looks as though he never bathes with soap.
  • Several preschool teachers in California were sickened by pot brownies last April, according to a report by the Centers for Disease Control. [New York Times] — Wait, you can get sick from those?
  • A thief stole a Brooklyn woman’s prosthetic hands from her car, while her legs were still in the trunk. [NYDailyNews.com] — Seriously, who does that?