I guess it’s time for me to give up the dream that Jillian Harris will realize marrying Ed Swiderski is a BIG mistake and run back into the arms of Reid Rosenthal. In light of a million warning signs, “Bachelorette” Jillian is blindly plodding forward with Ed. Yup. She’s moving into his condo this week. [Insert blood-curdling scream here.] In regards to taking this huge step in their relationship, Jillian says, “I can start [having] a real life again. I’m looking forward to some sort of normalcy –- making dinners, waking up early, cleaning house. It’s perfect.” [People]
Jillian … eek! There is a difference between “leap of faith” and “blind faith.” As those of us who have lived together know, living with Ed is not likely to be the “perfect” arrangement she’s expecting. Even all those cute pillows from Pottery Barn won’t change the fact that Ed is either gay or a two-timer. Sigh. We have to let her make her mistakes. But because I have a soft spot for her, I thought the least I could do is give some advice on how to survive the first week living together.1. He probably won’t care about this but you might—establish boundaries for when you need to “take the time,” as I like to call it. Translation: taking a dump.
2. Along those lines … before you move in with a guy, make sure he’s heard you fart. I know that sounds stupid, but there are men out there who don’t think women do that kind of thing. If he can’t handle that, he’s certainly not going to be up for the occasional menstrual-stained sheets or underwear.
3. Not that Jillian is going to have this problem because Ed is obviously gay, but you should verbalize when you’re in the mood and want to have sex and when you want alone time. Some men need to be told loud and clear that “Rachel Zoe Project” time and sexytime are two very different hours on the clock.
4. I know Jillian is looking forward to cleaning up after that big oaf, but better make it clear that you are his girlfriend, not his mommy and, therefore, you will not be doing all the cooking, cleaning and grunt work. If you have to, make a chart. As lame as it sounds, it’s too easy to fall into this mess and then it’s really hard to get out.
5. Talk about money. Make sure you know how you are going to share all the dough you’ll get for staying together. Psst … Take the money and run!
6. Get to know his friends—unless they are the “friends” he was allegedly cheating on you with during the taping of the show.
7. Finally, if it looks like a scumbag, acts like a scumbag, and smells like a scumbag—it’s a scumbag. If all of your friends and the viewing public think he’s bad news, maybe you want to reconsider moving in together at all.