10 Things We Learned About Men From Romantic Comedies

I may be unpopular for saying this, but I kind of hate romantic comedies. If they are supposedly targeted to women, they somehow missed my demographic. Why are they so often inane dribble? Sure there are a few greats (“When Harry Met Sally,” “(500) Days of Summer”) that are not to be missed, but for the most part I wouldn’t be caught dead watching a Sandra Bullock flick unless the movie theater has the world’s best popcorn. That’s why a got a really good chuckle reading Asylum’s list of “7 Things Romantic Comedies Taught Us About Women.” It got me thinking. There must be some really important lessons for us ladies to learn as well, right? After the jump, the 10 oh-so-realistic things that rom-coms have taught us about men.

  1. He’s just not that into you. A true pearl of wisdom. If he doesn’t like to talk on the phone, hang on your every word, and spend every minute of the rest of his life with you after the first minute you meet, he just doesn’t like you AT ALL. Glad we got that one out of the way.
  2. If he’s rich, successful, and good-looking, he probably has a heart of gold. The nicest, most earnest, most loving guys come in the most wonderful packages. You should definitely judge a book by its cover!
  3. When you are starting a relationship, the first f**k-up doesn’t matter. Did you get caught with your ex? Embarrass him at work? Emasculate him? Say awful things to him in the heat of the moment? He’ll forgive you. It’s just the growing pains of a new relationship.
  4. Drunkenness and idiotic behavior usually come before his declaration of love. If you get into a fight with the perfect man you are dating because he screwed up the best thing that ever happened to him, he will get drunk, act like a fool, and then come back to you the next day with a grand apology and a confession of love. Maybe you’ll even get a ring!
  5. He’ll only bring flowers if he’s done something wrong. You can smell a man who has done you wrong 100 feet away. Well … at least you can smell the roses he’s carrying. Beware: if he doesn’t confess, you’ll have to get it out of him.
  6. Men often fall in love with their best friends. Even though he thinks you’re not for him … you are. He will finally understand his love for when you take off your glasses and cut your hair, or if you plan on marrying someone else.
  7. If he hates you, that really means he loves you. The more you irritate each other, the more the sexual tension will build. Bonus points if you are also clumsy, quirky, or a workaholic. He will find it totally endearing.
  8. Sex is a beautiful, tender, and romantic act. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. He always knows just what he’s doing and will treat you like a princess in bed. Also, after sex he will not fall asleep immediately.
  9. His best guy friend(s) is always a doofus. You can spot your man because he’s so much cooler than the immature, idiotic best friend.
  10. If you run, hide, move, disconnect your phone, and start a new life, he will come after you. No amount of time, distance, or complication can keep him away. If he loves you, he will not stop until he can find you and tell you.

Please ladies, add to the list. What have you learned about men from romantic comedies?