I’m working from home today, and while I miss my special Frisky lady friends, I have to admit, I miss something else about going into the office more: strutting past the construction workers. Our office building is currently getting not one, but two new store fronts. So, everyday, I’ve got to walk past roughly a dozen sweaty studs handling their equipment. Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?! Plus, despite how often they see me, they always manage to find new ways to describe my bang-ability on the daily. And I love them for it. (Although, I have yet to nail a handyman. Sigh.) But I have picked up a few sexy tips just from having all those dirty men around. I’m going to tell you what I know, but please help me pray that the Mexican restaurant and coffee shop stay under construction for a while longer …
1. Fashion And Beauty Products Are BS.
I can be wearing no makeup, walking with a limp, have spilled something down the front of my muumuu, or even be scratching myself rabidly, and those dudes will still find a way to tell me I look hot. I don’t have to bring it, because it’s already been brought — au naturale.
2. We All Like The Bandonkadonk.
Butt crack out of the top of jeans is friggin’ sexy. Who would have thought men could tempt us with their own booty cleavage?
3. Men Love A Tease.
You don’t have to acknowledge their catcalls or even look at them. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t. They will keep the cooing coming and say even more ridiculous things if they know you’re not going to respond. Don’t we all fantasize about the things we’ll never have?
4. Don’t Be Shy.
Even though you know you’re not going to score, even if you’re saying something dumb and are covered in dirt, be loud and proud. Now that’s sexy!
5. Keep Your Eyes Open.
You never know who might be coming around the corner.
6. Men Are Hard At Work.
Just like we get all gussied up to impress other chicks, what the construction workers are heckling is more to impress their bros than you. They talk like sex-crazed woman eaters because they want to seem manly. As if that jack hammer wasn’t doing the trick …
7. Take Your Time.
Especially when it comes to sex and construction, it’s the finished product that counts — key word is finished. Sometimes you can get ‘er done lickety-split, other times you need some extra workin’ on. Just like a building, you’re not done until you’re done.
8. Flirting Isn’t Cheating.
Have you ever tried to call a construction worker out on something he said to you? He will get all lost like a little lamb. He’s just trash-talking. (See #2) They’ve got wives and girlfriends — they’re just passing the day away by watching you pass them by.
9. Everything Can Be Fixed.
Even if it can’t get put back together, you can get things back in working order. You just have to be willing to take care of it.